I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize