She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize