no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize