I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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