Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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