What a fucking waste of an outfit
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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