So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
