That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
