my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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