So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Me too!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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