At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
