i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
