fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
