i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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