I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize