Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
