He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
