This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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