Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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