I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
