im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize