Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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