You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
