1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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