Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
