That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
