Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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