I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
