what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize