Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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