she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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