I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His hands were made for my vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
