i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
