Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
