even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
