So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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