D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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