Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
