I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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