we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
