Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
