They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
