You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
