Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
