im drinking this country out of the recession.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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