Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You just made me feel so damn special
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
