she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
