he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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