How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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