so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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