ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
