Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Alive.
So much puke
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize