Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
