you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
