The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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