okay pat passed out under dana's car
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
