I'm lost and stupid without you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
