Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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