at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize